Bank of America rejected my CIAA deposit!

Posted: Monday, March 5, 2012 by Anthony in
46

I JUST left the bank after what was almost a VERY frustrating experience. For the last few months I have been without a photo ID. My license has been revoked for seemingly decades, so my state issued ID has been my only proof that I am Anthony Quinn McPherson. I've been too busy with CIAA events to go stand in line at the DMV to get another one. Anyway, I found it last week when I was making a withdrawal at the bank and I was SUPER excited. For weeks and months I had to ask other people to do stuff for me that I knew would require a photo ID. Well, I went to the bank today to make a deposit and when they asked for ID I reached in my wallet and it was gone AGAIN! I wasn't worried because I had just been in there a week ago when I found it. Surely, I thought, if they allowed me to take money out before I found it, they would allow me to put money in after losing it! However, the teller REFUSED to accept my deposit without proof of my identity. Needless to say, I was FRUSTRATED! It made no sense to me that I could withdraw from them without an ID but I could not deposit without one.

Then the Holy Spirit touched my heart and caused me to realize that this was a teaching moment...

For weeks, months, years, maybe even decades, (God just caused me to realize) that I had lost my (ID) identity. I've been a lesser version of the Anthony that He created and KNOWS me to be. Because of my loss of identity (ID) I've had to pull on other people to do things for me that I should be able to do for myself. In the "natural realm" they've had to drive me around, pay for things with their credit cards, etc because I lost my ID. Similarly, in the "spirit realm" I've relied on people to fill voids that only occur when you've lost your own identity (ID).

What pissed me off most today was that I JUST found my NC ID last week but lost it AGAIN so quickly. I realized today how similar that picture is to my real life! Despite spending time with God and discovering who I am to Him and who He is to me, it's SO easy for me to lose my ID in Him at any moment. I first lost it as a child after being molested. I recovered it but lost it again as a teenager when depression took over my life. Miraculously, I found my ID in God once more, but soon lost it when I failed High School and was forced to get a GED. It took me a while to regain my ID, and I thought I was secure, until my early twenties. It was then when I broke my vow of virginity until marriage and later ended up being cheated on and heart broken by the only girl I ever loved. I was sure I'd NEVER be whole again, but SOMEHOW God restored my ID and I started to trust people again, ONLY to be hurt even worse by someone else. That last blow almost permanently destroyed my ID! I was angry, bitter, spiteful, distracted, etc. Yet, not many people, other than those really close, could tell. I didn't care if I EVER found my ID again...

It hit me today why I haven't blogged in months, and why my prayer life has been so sporadic. I can WITHDRAW or TAKE from people without my true ID but I can't DEPOSIT or GIVE to anyone without being my true self! Who wants to hear or receive from an angry, hateful, or venomous heart? People are repelled by poison but attracted to kindness. The plot of the enemy was to use EVERYTHING that people (and myself) have done to me as a tool to remove my identity (ID). But today I thank God that He has a plan for those same hurts in my life. He desires to use them to humble me, which is to yield to Him and allow His nature and character to be formed in me.

I may be cussing somebody out on twitter tomorrow but I thank God that I'm on my way to executing His plan for the tragedies in my life, rather than allowing the enemy of my soul to win the battle for my character. I ANTicipate a MAJOR breakthrough and shift in my life as I open more of my heart to God's  desire and method of healing!

46 comments:

  1. Anonymous says:

    FEEELING THE THOUGHTS BRO. KEEP DOIN UR THANG

  1. Anonymous says:

    Very Good Read bruh! Some still have their NCDL (ID) but still searching for their real ID (identity). Much love homie

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wow, great read. Many people need this lesson in todays time. Thanks for sharing.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Really enjoyed reading this.. Good Luck on your journey!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Very moving blog! I wish u well on ur journey

  1. Anthony says:

    Thanks for the encouragement everyone!

  1. Ryan Jor El says:

    Absolutely amazing and your transparency will help others more than you'll ever know. God simply looks for us to grow and evolve as people and as better Christians and He honors the fact that you are doing just that..evolving... Into a better man, a better father, and a better Anthony. Be encouraged brother, be encouraged.

  1. Love everything you poured out today.

  1. Anthony says:

    Thanks again for the words of encouragement! They are LIFE to me!

  1. Yasmin Jones says:

    Wow... I'm floored. Daily Anticipation is my new must read inspirational resource. Keep the articles coming.

  1. Kamilah says:

    Wow! everyone has a story, but not everyone is brave enough to share it. Very inspiring! ;)

  1. Anonymous says:

    All I can say is Awesome.

  1. Anthony says:

    I'm strengthened by ALL the kind words posted in response to this blog. God bless you all for taking a second to encourage me!

  1. Good word,great analogy, I really needed that today. Keep Striving!!!

  1. excellent! no one could have said this better...

  1. Anonymous says:

    Let the church say.... AMEN!!! I love the way you verbalize your thoughts and feelings. You allow us all into your heart while you pour out your soul!!

  1. Anonymous says:

    My Brother, Thank You For Sharing.

  1. Anonymous says:

    My comments where to long & personal so I emailed/FB them to you...SMH!!!

  1. Moore Terri says:

    I normally don't make time to really read blogs... However, your title caught my spiritual eye and I could not resist. God is magnificent! Many struggle day to day wondering who they are and why they exist. Truthfully most people spend a lifetime learning about others only to die and never come to the knowledge of who they really are. Reading your blog was not enough. I had to meditate on the words. God is Amazingly clever! Anthony, your blog has blessed me this day. Thank you for being so transparent and obedient to The Holy Spirit. May God continue to keep you, strengthen you and use you for His glory. May your journey make room for you. Many blessings for who you were and the man you were created to be. I love you to life! -let's Grow

  1. Anonymous says:

    That was deep

  1. I'm floored, your such an inspiration-testimony that life does go on...Why stop now!! have a good day ant!!!!! :)

  1. Anonymous says:

    Loved This I had to send a shot out on FB & Twiwwer for a great Blog
    Ranoda

  1. I was not even sure how I received this email but God moved my spirit to open it. I want to thank you for sharing and also send blessings on your journey to discovering your ID.... Continue to reflect on journey and know that God is with you every step of the the way. We all have a story to tell and today you just encouraged one more person to share theirs. Continue to inspire and continue to believe in the impossible.!! My struggle today seemed so minor in comparsion to what I know someone else is going through!!!
    With hugs and forehead kisses...
    GG

  1. Wow Sir! I remember making your acquaintence at WC alumni reunion and your spirit was memorable. We all need to continue the journey of purpose. Great reading your testament!
    Verbena

  1. Kareena says:

    Thank you for sharing Anthony...what a testament just how GREAT and merciful God is towards us even when we don't want Him to be.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for sharing that Anthony . Alot of us need to find our real id!

  1. Jessica Jordan says:

    All I can say is WOW and Praise God!! I did not know what I was about to read...I actually thought it was some CIAA gossip since I missed out on it this year. I haven't been on facebook in a while so I haven't spoken or heard anything from you Ant but this right here...is truly a blessing to my soul! I feel like I just had church while reading your testimony!! I thank God that He is using you for His glory. I praise His name that you are seeking Him more diligently and aren't ashamed to share your knowledge, wisdom and interpretation with the world. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so! I pray His peace and blessings upon you and may you continue to blog, and witness to the world! That's what He wants us to do! God bless you my brother!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wow this has really made my day.

  1. Anonymous says:

    This is such an amazing story and so very true remember He just asks that we open our hearts and have mustard seed faith!!! Continue to strive to be more Christ like and the blessings will continue to flow. Be blessed everyone

  1. Anthony says:

    Thank you all for you comments. It's really EASY to feel stupid after sharing your heart for all to see. Your words are ammunition for me in the battle to stay true to what I feel like God wants me to do... God bless you all!

  1. Pervis Nash says:

    Love it man!! You are truly a gift to the body of Christ brother..

  1. meekie1 says:

    Wow!!!!! Powerful testimony! God is really using you. Amen

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wow! this is very uplifting and it is good to learn other ways in understand the "word" and when he is not with us.

  1. Anthony, you have called me “mother” since you were a young man. I’ve watched you climb and fall but never completely giving up or giving out. Eyes and hearts of judgment see an entirely different person that God sees. He smiles at you each time you choose to step out of darkness long enough thrust His light upon people who are lost. Your transparency is an anointing that you have not lost. Your words are ammunition to the spirit of darkness that would rejoice if you completely gave up on God and declared that you will stay in darkness forever. We all are in a battle of some kind, so continue to fight and be available to God. When you all were younger I would say, “Keep God in your mess” because BELIEVE me, “Hes’s the only one who love you enough to drag you out. I love you always, Mrs. J. Gregory (mother)
    .

  1. What a revelation! I too can relate to! You took the emotion in my heart amd the thoughts in my mind and conveyed them like shakesphere. You are on a divine assigment. Persistance breaks the resistence!

  1. Excuse the grammatical errors my keys are lockin up on my key pad

  1. Leah says:

    POWERFUL and Encouraging! The word "encourage" means to inspire courage and confidence. We all need bravery when faced with trials and we need confidence to press our way on through. Being depressed or stressed out happens to all regardless of your station in life, your title or your background. I too went through some of the difficult challenges that you experienced in your life and after reading your story I just said a quick prayer to tell GOD how greatful I am for bring me through the challenging times in my life. You are truly a blessed man and I know that if you continue to Keep God first in all that you do EVERYTHING else will follow. Thank you again for sharing this Encouraging passage Anthony. I look forward to coming to the upcoming events in the future.

  1. Yo lil bro very inspiring. so true man.I can relate to what you were saying abt that identity. the powers that be are real slick with there words too.your identity is who God sees you as.we do have to take things like that and translate them into the spiritual realm.thank you, that was a blessing for me if no one else.#purehumblehonesty

  1. Anonymous says:

    That was very encouraging to me and I know it must have been encouraging to someone else....Thank you for that and thank God for giving you the gift to share.

  1. Anthony says:

    I wish there was time to respond to each of your comments one by one. Please know that EVERY word you've posted has served as a message from God and given me courage to continue to share what I sense that He has placed in my heart! Thank you SO MUCH for taking a second to encourage me! God bless!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Yes!!! Love this!!!

  1. Anonymous says:

    this was good and touch home!

  1. Anonymous says:

    I usually get tricked by your catchy marketing with the titles you post and end up reading about an event that I may or may not attend (good marketing btw) but am so pleased at what I opened and read here today. Your story has probably touched so many people and I thank you for sharing. And although we all go through things in life, its how we react and recognize the decisions and choices we make. You have made a choice to live and share and judging from these things you went through I can only speculate (not knowing you personally) that you have been and will continue to be a strong, faithful person. Keep up the good work you do (in every facet) and please continue to inspire those who may need it.